Ending Emotions

Hitori... What could I possibly do. I wanted the children to be safe, to be gone from this place, gone from the experiments and the cruel intentions. But Hitori, he actually looked like he was heading to this place. Why? What could he have to do with something horrible like this. I could tell him a bit of the truth depending on why he was here.

"Something important, if you tell me why you're here I will explain." I tried to sound fierce.

Hitori blinked, hearing undertones in my voice I tried to hide. He took a breath, this short moment pure torture for my worried mind. "Just here to deliver something."

"Deliver something?" I hoped it had nothing to do with the drugs.

"Yeah, my school sometimes asks me to deliver stuff here for extra credit. Usually it's the early evening, but tonight I had to deliver it this late." He shrugged. "They tip well, so I don't mind much. It's not like I sleep that early anyway."

"Well he won't need your help tonight." I sighed. "Do you know what they do here?"

He shrugged. "I thought it was an orphanage for sick kids and that they help them or something."

I shook my head. "No, they make them sick here. They're experimenting."

Hitori suddenly looked behind me. What now? I hoped Valerie or Kai hadn't left the car. He noticed Khuna exiting through the main doors almost sneakily. Bad timing. I could see the recognition on his face, his thoughts running around as he wondered what she was doing here with me. I tried to think fast, but what could I possibly reply? He already knew who... what I was.

He narrowed his eyes. "What exactly are you doing here? You're not here to drink their blood are you?"

I shook my head fiercely. "No! I would never hurt the children. I... " Not daring to say it. "We're here to save them."

Stupid... I could kill myself for saying something that romantic and stupid. But I can't tell the whole story, the horrors I've seen and want to prevent. It's just not that simple. Even if he doesn't believe me, I have to do what's right...

If only I knew for sure that was what I was doing...

Hitori just looked at me, eyes intense and looking deep inside of me, judging everything he had experienced. He hung his head. "Okay. I believe you. Don't come here or anywhere you've seen me again. I... I can't take this, Amy." He turned away. "I will forget I've seen you here."

A few steps, I reached out my hand, his smell lingering and making me long for his closeness even more.

"Goodbye..." His sad voice no more than a whisper on the wind.

Silence...

Valerie and Kai had the good grace to wait with the car until I slowly turned back to them. My eyes locked at Hitori's silhouette until it disappeared around the corner. Khuna had walked over to me silently and gave me a soft hug from the side.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

I smiled sadly, a tear in my eye. "It's alright." I returned her hug a bit icily before I walked over to Kai and Valerie.

Valerie rolled down the window. "Are we good?"

I nodded. "You two go and deliver the children, we'll close up here and meet back home."

She nodded silently, closing the window respectfully. Understanding that I didn't want to talk right now. They started the car, a hellish noise compared to the heavy silence, and drove off. Khuna and I closed the gate and cleaned the key. We put it back nicely to make it even more confusing. We wondered if we should do something to make it look more like a bungled attempt. Destroy something, make a mess.

I felt like destroying...

But didn't want to.

We didn't. We simple went out by the side door, closing everything behind us and headed home. Walking the streets like normal, good citizens. Khuna kept quiet, feeling I didn't want or need any words this time. It was one of those few times I didn't hear, smell or see much of the world around me. Mind over matter... A lost mind.

At home Khuna asked me if I wanted to watch TV. But I didn't. I just went downstairs quietly, into my room and undressed. The silence of the room was the first thing to calm me down a little. I picked up the book from under my bed and held it, feeling comforted by the thick leather cover.

Blood and tears. But in a way I was glad of everything I experienced. I met incredible people so far and it didn't feel like it was going to stop anytime soon. And, as with all adventures, trials and hard lessons were all part of the package. I relaxed, the cold black leather against my skin feeling really soothing. I fell asleep even before dawn had the chance to take me with it.

At least the children were safe.

Everyone was finally safe...

A month passed quietly and all too quickly. A terribly anti-climax for me after all the adventures of the two weeks before. And yet... It gave me a peace I had never known. Each night simple for a change. Even buying some new clothes a few times, first with Valerie and Khuna and later one time alone. I became a bit stronger, practicing jumping in the park or on top of buildings some nights. It was a freedom that I welcomed.

Taking Valerie's advice I had slept in a safe house two times now. Being there I felt a bit more responsible and independent, that was nice. But I never got used to drinking blood. Every night I needed sustenance, even if only a little. My only true relief and place of solace was the rooftops. I knew Khuna and Valerie never ventured there, so they felt like my domain. I knew them better than the streets in some parts of town. And standing on top of them, looking at the light of the moon on the buildings, cars and people or smelling the rich pallet of the wind made me feel alive again.

It is a pity we never spoke to the gypsies again, I would gladly have let the mother know where her son was kept. But we never checked it. The children, whom Kai and Valerie had delivered to a place on the edge of town, were all safe and sound. The new orphanage had taken them in without a fuss according to Kai. But we never ventured nearby, too risky.

One evening in the beginning autumn I found myself on a rooftop sighing. A thought on writing my memories on my mind, surprising me after it's absence. Perhaps it was worth it, writing it all down for myself and perhaps for others. I'm sure Khuna and Valerie would be very curious to know all my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure if I was ready to find them.

"It is worth it." A child's voice.

I stood up, my hair ruffled by the wind and blinding my sight until I swept it away. Standing in the dark cloudy night was a girl, perhaps eleven years old, looking with eyes filled with ancient knowledge, eyes I hadn't seen in over a month. What was she doing here? How did she get on the roof? I started to walk toward her.

"And things have only just begun." She smiled a strange, taunting smile...

Everything faded to black. I fainted.

When regained consciousness up I heard laughter and noticed shadows moving in the distance, jumping from roof to roof. Toward me! Danger! One of their louder voices I could recognize despite the distance, Kryss. No! Not now! I forced myself to stand up, feeling the sluggishness of my body. I focused until everything was bright again, smells, sights, sounds. Now I was ready.

I started to run...