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Home » Stories » Twilight » Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A Beginning

Runewald. A bird, flying high, would have seen it as no more than a thin green fur covering the earth, stretching from the mountains to the plains. Cities, towns and villages no more than small patches of brown. Light and shadow played different roles from that perspective, as it accentuated hills and dips in the landscape. But, the height would lie. From down there, the green fur consisted of majestic trees, with the deep green leaves of the end of summer. The forest was old, filled with many dangers and even more beauty, hidden away from human eyes. It was strange, but even after so many years, nature still reigned the the forest. Like the deserts of the deep plains and the snowy slopes of the mountains, man stayed away unless he had no choice. It wasn't just the creatures either, the forests housed spirits and bandits, both of which could cause a careless traveller untold problems.

I, however, was excited to be here. The most important reason for my excitement, even though it shouldn't have been, was the horse beneath me. A very healthy and fast one at that. I truly cherished the feeling of every step as the horse cantered on the winding trails, it was definitely a good feeling. The rest of my excitement was aimed at the task I was given. Even though the task in itself was simple, it was rare that a young ambassador like me was entrusted to deliver messages to other cities this far out. An honor I did appreciate. The need of a good horse for such a venture was a welcome extra, of course.

The hooves thundered on the path, ripping moss and gravel from it's peaceful slumber. The trees rushed by in glorious speed and despite all of this, I could still hear the sounds of the forest. The road ahead was still the same as the last half hour, slightly mossy and only lightly curving between the trees. It would probably be another half-hour until I reached the town of Bleakfield. Then ride to the local guild and get through their security. Bored people with little to do in a day but hassle newcomers from other cities. Of course the seal on the papers I was carrying should help me avoid such annoyances.

As I rode, I wondered about how I would be received. Surely, I wasn't the first ambassador to have been send from Dawnbridge as a messenger of Light, but I've heard it had been a while since any news was received from Bleakfield. All my information was outdated and, likely, very inaccurate as it was based on stories from random people. There had been, fortunately, better sources at my disposal. The library at the castle was informative as well, with plenty of maps and drawings. Maps always fascinated me, how they described so many things of a landscape without ever touching the earth; delivering knowledge of country and land without a single visit. It was not enough, of course, as it only served to fuel my imagination and dreams. Which was one of the reasons why I chose to pursue the role of ambassador. Travelling, meeting people, being important.

Getting away...

Wait, what was that?

My thoughts were interrupted as my eyes spotted something white in the distance, contrasting sharply against the dark greens and browns. It was too far to distinguish yet, but it looked like cloth. I slowed the horse down to a trot but didn't stop yet. I knew the forest was dangerous and I had to be prepared to get back into full galloping as soon as something happened. Slowly though, as I got nearer, my initial suspicions of cloth were confirmed. However, there was something inside of it. Someone...

A girl...

Comments

Jae
3 years ago
An interesting start - thoughts did wandered -> did wander
had informative -> had been informative

without ever touching something the earth; ? "something" left over from before you added "the earth"?

The footnotes probably need to be a bit more delineated from the normal text of the story. Maybe a horizontal line to emphasise the separation or a different font/size.
Nimja
3 years ago
Thanks - Lots of rewriting done to fix many errors and refine the style a lot. Especially the footnotes and the intro.

And I've added the 'dots' between the footnotes and the text.

Anyone comment on my 'new' style?
lineke
3 years ago
well - can't say much yet. nothing has happend :P
i'm gonna wait and see where this is going before i give you comment.
the new style is obvious though, just can't say yet if you're good at it :P
Nimja
3 years ago
*smiles* - We'll have to wait and see.
Guess.
3 years ago
Hrmm - All those dramatic pauses! It's like someone's telling it in front of a fire, while trying to creep out a small child.

Which kinda wins.
Nimja
3 years ago
It's - It's not that creepy. I mean, it's daylight. No monsters have been spotted (yet) and the ghouls are firmly locked in their basements.

They've been bad ghouls.
OhPun
3 years ago
phrasings - These seemed a bit awkward to me. Please ignore my comments if they are what you wanted.

the forest was still reigned by nature.
could be
nature still reigned in the forest.

In my head, thoughts did wander on how I would be received.
could be
I did wonder about how I would be received.
Nimja
3 years ago
Phrasings - It's something that somehow rarely sounds good. I've rephrased them.
Jae
3 years ago
aaw - I kind-of preferred the original phrasing of the second footnote. It seemed more humorous.
Nimja
3 years ago
Eh - I didn't rephrase the footnote on purpose, actually.

But now I forgot what it was... -_-;

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