A prominent member of our community has been using lies, false stories without proof (that were not hers to tell) and harassment to defame others and spread her own opinion. Due to her position in the community, the (commendable) desire most people have to support perceived victims, and fear of public backlash from those who might oppose her, her misrepresentations have mostly gone unchallenged.
As one of her victims, I can no longer remain quiet about her lies and harassment. For all these years I felt unable to act, felt that nobody would believe me.
Thanks to the people who have supported me, including one whose story she abused, that has changed. I am deeply grateful for all your help. I could not have done this without you.
This document contains proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that her actions were calculated and intentional. That she knowingly spread falsehoods for her own agenda, abusing the victim's voice.
Each story has a summary sentence at the beginning of the stories.
To my fans: I understand if this situation leaves you frustrated. As always, I kindly ask you to stay out of this. Liking/sharing is okay.
Great care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of the statements here. If you would like to give feedback, corrections, know more or otherwise: Contact me
This document does not take away any of my own responsibilities to the people hurt and is only intended to reveal enduring bullying and abuse. Despite the further damage and the added difficulty for open communication that Nath’s behavior has caused, those hurt have been apologized to both publicly (1, 2) and privately, and comforted whenever possible.
This document only contains the most prominent & clear issues. Most of the harassment and questionable proof has been left out for clarity.
All evidence in this document is either public or has been shared with permission.
- Sep. 2017 - Nath posts Story 1 (victim A.), about events in 2010.
- Sep. 2017 - I respond to Nath’s allegations.
- Dec. 2017 - A. asks me about removed comments.
- Jan. 2018 - Nath takes down Story 1, as A. did not give consent for the story.
- Feb. 2019 - Nath posts Compilation Post, containing references to Story 1 and various opinions.
- Jul. 2019 - Nath posts Story 2 (victim B.), about events 2 weeks prior.
- Aug. 2019 - Nath updates Compilation Post on FetLife with Story 2 & Wales 2018
- Aug. 2019 - Nath posts a reddit post, which indirectly refers to Story 2, in a sock-puppet-like manner.
- Nov. 2019 - B. finds out through me that Story 2 exists. Confirms it’s about her, shows she didn’t know.
- May. 2020 - B. further confirms she vented in private to Nath and is hurt that Nath used it.
- May. 2020 - B. requests Nath to take down Story 2.
- Aug. 2020 - Nath reposts Story 2 on Tumblr
- Oct. 2020 - Nath reposts Compilation Post on Tumblr.
Main concerns with Nath’s behavior
- Nath did not get consent from the victims to share their story. (both stories)
- Nath did not inform the victims about publishing their story. (see: Story 2 proof)
- Nath did not do her due diligence in verifying both sides of the story. (both stories)
- Nath extremely exaggerated facts or even included flat-out lies to support her narrative. (see: Story 2 proof)
- Nath has not shown any proof for her claims. (both stories) - Even complaining when organisers require proof. (see: Story 2 proof)
- Nath actively and aggressively campaigned against me on all possible platforms available to her (FetLife, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, Discord).
In this document, she is always referred to as Nath for consistency. She is known on various platforms as:
FetLife: Nath, Discord: Nathree, Reddit: EmpatheticBadger, Tumblr: WrittenByNath & ultinath, Twitter: Introspective Nath
Story 1 proof
Describing events in 2010, where I made a big mistake in how I treated A. It is still something I deeply regret in how it happened.
Because of the age of this story, no screenshots are available of the original post or A’s comments underneath it.
Sep. 2017 - Nath posts Story 1 (victim A.), about events in 2010.
https://fetlife.com/users/2200554/posts/4659605 - A consent violation in hypnokink (removed January 2018)
The timeline of the story is about events 7 years prior, however, Nath phrased it as if it happened very recently.
Sep. 2017 - I respond to Nath’s allegations.
https://fetlife.com/users/520858/posts/4661290 - This contains more detail about the story, including my apology for the mistakes that I made.
Dec. 2017 - A. asks me about removed comments.
A. contacts me through FetLife to ask why her comments were removed. I had not removed any comments from my post, it turned out she was talking about her comments on Nath’s post.
Jan. 2018 - Nath takes down Story 1, after A. complained that she did not give consent for the story.
Story 2 proof
Posted 2 weeks after B. and I had a falling out for private reasons. B. vented her frustration at Nath, who used her story without consent. When B. contacted me again (as friends) to share good news, she was not aware of what Nath had published.
The following proof from B. has been shared with her consent. Anything identifying or unrelated to this story has been blacked out to protect her privacy.
Jul. 2019 - Nath posts Story 2 (victim B.), about events 2 weeks prior.
Full text, from the later tumblr post
Noteworthy post contents
- "This story keeps happening over and over. It makes me very sad, but I will get into my efforts and involvement at the end." - Repeated use of baseless claims.
- "Because I've heard more stories. I've talked to more victims of this man. I am not at liberty to tell these stories, but they seem to follow the same pattern." - Insinuating there is more, repeating the same claims without backing.
- "There is no proof, everything happened through video chat or real life hypnosis sessions." - In reality, most interaction was over Discord chat & Email.
- "They (event organizers) tell me these stories are hearsay. This is not enough to ban him, they say. This makes me so angry. WTF is proof?" - Guilt-tripping those who disagree.
- "Know that I will delete comments and block people when it pleases me, as I always do." - Controlling the narrative.
Aug. 2019 - Nath posts a reddit post, which indirectly refers to Story 2, in a sock-puppet-like manner.
She speaks of the story as proof in the third person: "She wrote", instead of taking ownership.
Nov. 2019 - B. finds out through me that Story 2 exists. Confirms it’s about her, shows she didn’t know.
B. contacts me on Discord to happily tell me of her new dominant. When I told her of Nath's post, B.’s reaction confirms that she was unaware. B's reaction was one of anger and disbelief.
- "Errrrr no? I haven't been near fetlife"
- "How dare she, how dare she do that she approached me as a friend"
- "There are some grains of truth in the things she has written, I was hurt and bloody stupid. But the vast amount is utter horse shit." - Confirming it was based on B.'s story.
May. 2020 - B. further confirms she vented in private to Nath and is hurt that Nath used it.
In an email conversation, B. tells me how it all happened, further confirming Nath's words are misleading and that Nath exploited private conversations.
- "She encouraged me to open up and vent and said she was happy to be a shoulder to lean on."
- "She hadn’t mentioned she hated You, yep, she left out that little chestnut. She used these private conversations to vilify You. 90% was COMPLETELY out of context. The other 10% was RUBBISH." - Confirming it was based on B.'s story.
- "Yes, I was angry and yes I let You have it - but in a private conversation with what I thought was a friend."
May. 2020 - B. requests Nath to take down the story.
Further in the same email conversation, B. confirms she sent Nath a message to take it down. B. also shares she feels used and tainted due to Nath's actions.
- "I messaged Nath earlier."
- "I told her how much it hurt that she had used me as a basis for massive exaggeration and in some aspects outright lies." - Confirming it was based on B.'s story.
- "Lastly, I pleaded with her to remove the post asking for an apology or statement rescinding the allegations"
Aug. 2020 - Nath reposts Story 2 on Tumblr
No change to the text.
A post that combined Story 1 (initially) and opinions to attempt to be presented as fact, no proof given.
Feb. 2019 - Nath posts Compilation Post, containing references to Story 1 and various opinions.
https://fetlife.com/users/2200554/posts/5449336 - Why there is such a rift in the Dutch hypnokink community
Aug. 2019 - Nath updates Compilation Post on FetLife with Story 2 & Wales 2018
Several paragraphs were added. No proof was added.
- "The first and most important reason is that he violated the consent of a dear friend of us." - Refers to Story 1
- "I've spoken out about this before and the tone of his denial was a clearly orchestrated attempt to make everyone see him in a more positive light." - See above, where I post a reaction post.
- "In 2019 a woman came to me for help." - Refers to Story 2, said women now deeply regretting having shared something in confidence.
- "And that they were afraid to speak out against him, afraid of being online lynched by his adoring fans. So I can't tell these stories, because these women are afraid." - Making repeated, unsubstantiated claims.
- "All of these stories form a pattern. He seems to seed his files with suggestions to contact him personally." - Full transcripts of all files are available, warnings and tags are easily visible.
- "He's probably already looking for the next girl. This is why he's a predator." - Stating assumptions as fact & using circular logic.
- "I have to admit that I have never seen this man teach hypnosis." - Admits that she has no first-hand account.
Oct. 2020 - Nath reposts Compilation Post on Tumblr & Twitter
Changing the first paragraph and title, to add my name and a reference to my YouTube channel.
Proof & reports by others
If you have any first-hand reports of harassment or lies by Nath, you can contact me.
2020-10-17 - Nath is banned from eQuake 2020
By their request, a smaller version of this post was shared with the eQuake organization. This and other matching reports made them decide to ban Nath from attending or presenting at the event.
She (Nath) was banned for scurrilous, false, and painful defamatory on-line statements that lead to a loss of reputation and worse.
- eQuake 2020 organizers
This information is shared with consent of the eQuake organizers, contact them for more details.
Nath has repeatedly been shown to blatantly lie or misreport to get her opinion seen as fact. Her campaigning methods often cross the borders of harassment, using "the end justifies the means" regardless of accuracy.
The ability for victims to speak up is paramount in a society that too often ignores those hurt. By abusing this system, she calls into question genuine calls for help. In this, she has done irreparable damage to many involved.
By bringing this pattern to light, we can perhaps move forward to more open and honest communication as a community.