And their translations

Some of these annoy me, some of these surprise me. But I found them worthy enough to display here. If you know any empty phrases, I'll translate them for you.

Your call is very important to us.
Please hang up.

If our standards do not meet your expectations.
We'll keep doing what we were doing regardless.

...,no offense.
Okay, lots of offense. But it's okay now, I said 'no offense'.

New and Improved!
It's blue now!

Undisputed market leader.
No one cares enough to dispute it.

Full guarantee
If it breaks you only have to fill in 42 forms, send it back to Saskatchewan and donate some blood to charity. But we'll repair it completely, seriously!

Thinking out of the box
It's like coming out of the closet, only cheaper.

Web 2.0
The Internet in the year 3142, when we finally have true neural computers.

It's a bargain!
Compared to our other overprices products.