Chapter 101Of Trails and Lines

The air around me was damp but quiet. At the moment I hovered very high above the city, wishing some peace and quiet to sort out my mind. The wind was enough to blot out the sounds down below and gave me the sense of space around me I longed for. Replaying the events of the past two months in my head I tried to make an important choice.

Where will I go?

Part of me wanted to return to my home and get on with the other things in life. Finding out where my mother was, who Janus was and if I could get into contact with Afentis again. And of course talk and cuddle with Khuna...

Khuna... I had hurt her so much. I killed the guy she loved but never wanted. Pulling him away from her forever as there was no chance of his return. How could I ever justify what happened, despite all the harm he inflicted on us. But was I the one who killed him?

I just wanted to show him I was stronger. Show him he has no chance taking me on and force him to leave. His death was something that had never entered my mind. Or did it? It had been curiously alluring to think of killing him by drinking his blood. A thought that sneakily played hide-and-seek in a hidden corner of the darkest part of my soul. Did I kill him then?

No, I had to hold on to the thought that he killed himself. He wanted to fight, he wanted to be undefeated. It was his pride that led to his death. Not me.

If only I hadn't chosen to fight him...

No...

It wasn't my fault.

If only I would be able to hold on to that. I needed time alone, time to think and feel everything again. Perhaps even time to regrow my skin so I wouldn't look like a disaster victim anymore. A deep breath.

"I'm sorry Khuna and Valerie, but I need time."

The words floated off in the distance, unheard by any living things as I had the skies to myself.

There wasn't much in my room I still needed, the only thing that came to mind was the black book. But I didn't want to drag it with me on my travels. So I had to tell them something, but how? Book... I suddenly knew what to do, but I needed pen and paper for this.

Grandmother's house. It was still empty but I figured that Janus might at least visit it sometimes. Why had I never thought of actually trying to catch him there? A thought that was no longer important. Though it did raise another issue, where would I sleep? I shrugged. If need be I could sleep underneath my tree again, at least I felt relatively safe there.

It was funny, drifting down to my grandmother's house was a lot harder then I thought. Trying to imagine how it would look from high up was easy, but the closer I got, the stranger it felt. But it was the right place, with the garden and the house almost exactly like I remembered.

So someone really was keeping the garden in order.

Floating up to the roof I forced the attic window open and let myself into the house, it's musky stale air greeting me like an old friend. It felt good being here after all I'd been through. But I had to focus, this wasn't for pleasure, this was important. I walked down to the study room and picked up a piece of paper from the desk and a pen.

It didn't work, empty or dried out, figures. I had to try a few of the pens on the desk until I found one that did work. A red pen. I hoped it wasn't too macabre getting a goodbye note in red ink, but I had little choice it seems. I started to write.

Khuna, Valerie and Kai. A lot has happened in the past two days and I need time for myself to think about it. I will leave town for a while and travel around to clear my head. Also, something terrible has happened. Kryss attempted to capture or hurt me a few times and...

How much did I want to tell them? Everything? Nothing? I decided honesty would be the best approach. Even if it would hurt them, it would be better if they found out through me. I continued writing.

despite my escape the first time, he managed to capture me. He left me to burn in the sun, but with a bit of ingenuity and a bit of stupidity on their part I survived. Barely. After that I tried to get revenge and scare Kryss out of town, but he perished in the struggle. He burned to death in one of the metal smelt factories. I apologize.

I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you and will come back once I cleared my mind. I care for you all very much and hope you'll stay safe during my absence.

With kindness,
Amy

ps. Though perhaps unwise, please keep the book and keep it safe. It's hidden under my closet.

I folded the note and used one of the old envelopes on the desk to put it in. No name was needed, as I would deliver this myself. Through the attic I went outside again, making sure the windows were all closed properly. Taking to the air it only took me perhaps two minutes before I arrived at the roof of our safe house. My home for the past months. But no more.

I opened the outside door silently and left the envelope on the ground. I sighed as I closed the door and said my goodbyes silently.

Goodbye my friends, until we meet again.

Only one thing left to do. Now that I could fly I could do something I wanted to do so many times but hadn't felt I could. I took flight and went to a house I had visited so few times. As I floated up to the window of the top floor I saw the familiar living-room and studio. I took care not to be too visible from inside, the streets not my worry as no one really looked up and there was no one to look. Someone was painting in the studio with their back to the window. It was Hitori.

He didn't look well rested, but otherwise he looked fine. I didn't see his sister anywhere and shortly wondered, with a blush, if she had left. He was painting very gently, only moving the brush so little with each movement it was no more then a caress. Three painting stood against the wall, next to the one he was working on. I looked at all of them, my surprise growing as I gazed at each of them.

One was the church I saw earlier, but finally finished. The second was that of a little girl, standing in a pool of blood, lit by a fire behind her, with a strange and scary smile on her face. The third painting...

I swallowed. The third was that of a girl lying on the ground in a round, stone room with a large chimney, sunlight shining in. From the girl, hidden underneath some fabric were little wisps of steam curling up in the yellow light.

It was unbelievably detailed and yet they were not like pictures. They looked like dreams of what actually happened. Some things slightly stronger and others more pushed into the background. Yet all three paintings were very complete. Lovingly painted with an attention to detail that almost looked non human.

Hitori moved away from the painting he was working on, taking a step back and picking up a cup of tea that looked only vaguely warm. Finally I could see the fourth painting. It was even more beautiful then the other three. Only half done, a girl with auburn long hair and bluish eyes looked straight back at me, the background filled with reflecting shards of broken glass. Her hair was straight but appeared to move as if suspended in water, shimmering in an unknown light. But it was obviously unfinished; the right side of her face was not painted, except for her right eye and some of the hair. The rest of her face faded into the white of the canvas, some shadow suggesting perhaps the shape of a nose or the edge of her face. But he had not dared to paint what was truly there.

He had painted me...