Page 1Opening the diary

Twilight had come and gone, the sun had sought refuge beneath the horizon once again and the evening had spread over the lands like a blanket to cover the dead. All appeared to be quiet save for a distant patch of grass next to a river. A patch mostly undisturbed by the passing of time and the workings of man. From the dark earth came a hand, reaching for the heavens in an eagerness that went unnoticed by all. Then an arm, a head and body. The body of a wraith, a ghost that was doomed to wander the earth indefinitely. Beautiful. Immortal.

Okay, I can't go on like this.

I'm really not one for dramatic and my mind keeps screaming at me that it never tells the truth as it is. It's of course just as easy to scratch it out and pretend I never wrote it, but part of this diary is to write things as they come to my mind. Of course part of me wanted to write stylish to make this seem more interesting, but it's just not me. I decided when I woke up that I would keep a dairy and write in it just before I'd go to slumber for the day. I'm actually surprised how easy the pen flows over the paper, my muscles rarely going where I don't want them. Anyway, let's start at the beginning of the night.

Waking up after more than a full year's rest wasn't accompanied by a headache that you would normally get after sleeping too long. In fact, the wake up was as light as a feather. I just decided; 'this looks like a nice time to rejoin the world.'. Of course I couldn't open my eyes that deep in the ground so I dug my way up slowly and carefully. I didn't reach for the heavens with my hands, quite the opposite, I kept everything firmly down until I could gently look around with my eyes to make sure no one was around to see me.

The colors.

In my slumber, I hadn't been completely gone. Echoes and hints of the outside world filtered through my consciousness were heard and seen. It wasn't much, but it was enough to feel time passing by. It actually felt very restful and calming to be in the ground and feeling, hearing the world going on without you. I did miss everyone though at times. When I heard an echo of Hitori or Nuru (which I could have just imagined) a tear perhaps rolled down my cheek. But I knew this was for the better. I really needed to find myself again. To find what I wanted to do. I'd been given an unusual chance in life to be powerful and free with very little things to tie me down.

The colors.

Though my visions underground had been in color, they paled easily in what I saw. I'd slept next to a small stream with grass, some bushes and a tree. It was immensely beautiful. The first real colors I'd seen in so long. It was still early evening and some of the light from the sun. The grass was anything from dark green to dark blue, a hue that faded into the shadows. Each blade of grass reflected the light differently, each shade of green to blue represented. The bark of the trees was a labyrinth of browns, with moss creating the most gorgeous patches of green in between. Just for a moment I imagined myself walking there, the shapes of the bark towering above me. A victim of fate, lost in eternity. The sky was surprisingly light still. Up there the sun's reach was displayed for longer than down here. That, and the reflected light of the city. There weren't many clouds, but a thin layer of grey occluded the infinity beyond.

Okay, so I was being a little dramatic. But the colors were so beautiful. So intense. It was unbelievable.

The smells were as intense but a little less impressive. Wet grass, bark and leaves were not unpleasant smells. But to have your nose filled up with them was not exactly ideal. That, and I started to smell the things that were not part of nature, rust, food and other things that had been around for too long.

Sounds were surprisingly subtle. I could hear the sounds of the city, but they were distant. It had rained today, the ground was still wet, and sounds seemed subdued by the dampness of the air and the ground. Still, it was just a louder variant of the buzz I had been hearing underground. A confirmation that I truly was back among the living again.

In a manner of speaking.

Satisfied that no one was around and finally able to quench my fascination with color, I rose up further from the ground and looked at myself. I was a mess. My clothes, my once beautiful white clothes were... Well, it was hard to describe but I'm going to try anyway. Imagine putting a white cloth underground. It wouldn't be eaten by moths, but some worms might nibble on it leisurely. What would happen is that water, coloured by moss, grass, roots and sand, would seep through and taint it's blankness.

It was more laughable than anything else. Though I had cared some for the clothes I wore, now I just shrugged it off. Unfortunately it did mean that I couldn't just go anywhere. It was worse than a homeless person. The clothes had quite some holes in it and had given away, tearing, as I had risen from the ground. It was plenty to cover my body practically speaking, but that was about as positive as you could be about them.

Seduction of prey was therefore out.

Hmm... blood. During my slumber I hadn't felt the hunger, the thirst for blood at all. As the body slowed down it didn't feel like it needed as much as it usually did. But now that I was moving again, I needed it. I craved it. To feel the thick fluid run through my throat and my veins once again. To pierce someones neck with my teeth. To feel their life dwindle like a flame in the wind.

Get a grip Amy. You don't want to kill, remember that.

I tried to rise up in the air like I had done so many times before only to find that I couldn't. Fortunately it wasn't a fiasco as dire as it was at the building site, but stumbling and annoyance were involved. In fact, I actually felt quite weak. My legs and arms appeared to have decent strength and my senses were still quite refined, but the rest was all gone. Of course, as there was hardly any blood inside of me anymore, that was to be expected.

It felt rather odd, to be hunting for blood with this hunger. The only time I'd felt like this before was just after being burned and before the hunt, but that time revenge had focused me. Now I had nothing to focus me. And, if I was honest to myself, i didn't want any either. I wanted to rediscover the world as I was without anyone else saying where I had to go.

Maybe that meant having to leave town, I wasn't sure.

But first, blood. I needed sustenance. Needed to feel strong again. I was but a wraith of my former self. Even my skin was so close to white as to be unhealthy. But I wouldn't let it stop me. With some care and the hormones of men, it shouldn't be difficult to get what I wanted. To take what I wanted.

My thirst was really pushing me.

My first few steps back towards the city were careful ones. I hadn't walked in over a year, but apparently my body was strong and remembered what it had to do. But, before I left my former resting place completely, I took some time to remove the evidence of my presence as best I could. People might notice a little dent in the ground for a while, but at least it wasn't visible anymore. After that I was ready to hunt.

Eager to hunt.

Perhaps too eager.

I apologize to you, dear reader, but I really have to take a break here. When Amy handed me her diary and requested it to be put it on-line, I was overjoyed. However, I didn't realize how much work it really was. I am sitting here now, on this late hour, with slightly strained eyes from staring at her words. Handwriting that, if I was perfectly honest, were not as neat or readable as I would have liked them to be. But, I had to persevere, reading it again and again to make sure it would all be as verbatim as possible. It is so easy to underestimate the scale of an endeavour such as this.

So, with your understanding, I will continue tomorrow with renewed vigor (and less red eyes) and hope your heart is not unforgiving.