Mar 2009

Page 9Wording doubts

She leaned on her sword as she stared into the distance, not following my eyes but waiting for me to respond to her. It was a gesture of politeness that made me a little unsure. I had no idea how to respond or what to do with it. But I thought that she would probably appreciate honesty and direct questions.

"Were you looking for me?"

Muriel glanced at me and smiled. "Not exactly. Let's just say that your not hard to miss. It's been quiet here mostly."

"Have you..."

"No, Isabel has eluded me with annoying ease."

"So, what have you been doing?"

"The usual, travel around, find monsters and kill them. There's not that many anymore, or they just hide very, very well. Amy, is that a diary?"

I nodded.

"Be careful what you do with it."

I smiled. "I will. I don't expect anyone who finds this to be real anyway."

She smiled a little. "You're not the first to write things down and won't be the last, just make sure you don't mention too much."

I looked at the diary in my hands, shrugging a little as I had no idea what I was going to do with the diary anyway. I didn't write it down for anyone but myself really. A sort of verification that what was happening really did. For some reason leaving town came into my head.

"I want to leave this city."

Muriel shrugged. "Then do."

I looked at the sky. "It's not easy."

"Do you know where you want to go?"

I nodded. "Yes, and I know you could probably take me there. I can't fly anymore. But I want to get there on my own."

Muriel shrugged again. "Fair enough. I just hope you're not running away but running towards." She smiled. "Good luck Amy."

She turned around and looked back a few steps further. "Oh, Afentis says hi, but he's taken his daughter somewhere safer. He'll find you if he needs to, but it will be hard for you to find him. And before you ask, I don't know either."

"Thank you, Muriel."

She nodded and stepped off the roof, flying forwards gently and disappearing into the distance. I felt a twinge of jealousy and sadness for not being able to follow her anymore. I had no doubt that my skills (calling them powers sounds too comic-book like) would return over time. Of course time could be long considering the possible lifespan of, you know, vampires.

An interesting thought entered my mind though.

"Even a thousand years must pass from moment to moment."

It didn't matter if you were immortal or not, days would still pass by the same speed they would before. There was just more to remember after a while. Years upon years beyond what a normal human would be bothered with. The exception was of course the slumbering that I'd done and, according to what Valerie had told me, it was not uncommon to do that.

Valerie and Khuna.

Was that the reason I wanted to leave the city?

No, it wasn't a reason to leave or to stay. Even though it made me doubt myself for a moment, I knew I wanted to go somewhere new for me, to see new things. I wasn't going to stay away forever, but it might take a long time as well. It was clearer now more than ever though.

It was a destination.

I wasn't running from, I was running to. I just needed transportation as my feet weren't good enough. A sound in the distance made me think about the trains. But if I remembered correctly, the only ones going there would either leave or arrive when it was light. So they weren't an option either unless I liked my skin extra crispy.

Which I didn't.

Obviously.

But how could I get a car for one night rousing as little suspicion as possible? Really stealing someone was a bad idea, plus I didn't know how to hot-wire a car or anything. Plus I was fairly sure that new cars had all kinds of protection against things like that nowadays. And of course when I got there, I wouldn't have a lot of time to find a place to sleep. Was I willing to risk that?

Well, yes, worst came to worst, I could sleep somewhere underground.

A brief glimpse of an idea made me wonder what it would be like to sleep deep underwater. It didn't sound like a good idea as such, but the sliver of fantasy involved in such an undertaking made it an interesting thought nonetheless. Not that it was very detailed or anything.

I got up and dusted my jeans off. It wasn't really needed, but it felt more decisive this way. I would try to find a car to take in the two hours I had left or come up with a better plan. Tomorrow I wanted to go and not postpone it any longer.

Something kept nagging at me though.

She has some wisdom sometimes. In a way she's right, no matter how fast time seems to have passed us by, every new moment is as long as the next. Our perception doesn't change that. You can't live a thousand years before you've lived one, or a day, or an hour.