Chapter 74About Self Study

Valerie was still walking next to me as I head for Hitori's house. She did remember the place, of course, and it didn't take us long to walk there. As we got closer however I felt more and more nervous. Should I ask her to come along, should I ask her to go. I was confused. What should I do?

"I don't mind either way." Valerie smiled at me as we turned into his street.

"Eh?" Now she confused me even more.

"It's completely alright if you ask me to leave. I can meet up with you later." She smiled kindly. Probably feeling a lot of my confusion.

She was right. I wanted to see Hitori alone. "Do you know a good place to meet up again?"

Valerie shrugged. "Enough, I guess there's a small cafe on the corner over there." She pointed to a homely looking place on the corner of a crossing a bit further.

It looked welcome and not too busy. I gave Valerie a small kiss on her cheek. She walked off with a little wave and a smile. Looking more and more like her old self again. Still... There was a sensation of a gap in her experience somewhere. And this didn't seem like the first gap either. I should ask her about that. Now first, push doorbell and hope you don't run away nervously.

Hitori took a bit longer to open the door but he was pleasantly surprised when he saw me. "I was afraid you weren't coming."

It was later than last time. "Sorry, couldn't leave any sooner."

He shrugged and smiled. "Well, you're here now. Come on up, I just made some tea."

We went up all the stairs and walked into his apartment. There was a faint scent of perfume from the other room. It wasn't really feminine though, so I didn't know what to think of it. At least it didn't smell sweaty or other weird things. I could smell the tea though. It's sweet, herbal scent filled most of the living room gently. It wasn't unpleasant, just very different from last time.

He walked to the kitchen, picked up a kettle of tea and poured two cups. He put them on the table, sat down and opened a laptop to turn it on. I sat down next to him, it seemed the right thing to do.

"So, how have you been?" I was so much in thought I didn't see the question coming.

"Oh, alright I guess. Just a weird week." I smiled casually, hoping he wouldn't ask more.

"Weird how?" He looked interested.

I shrugged. "You know, just weird. I don't really want to talk about it." That was a lie, I wanted to talk about it very much, but I couldn't just tell him what I was.

He frowned. "You mean, like suddenly getting a new life thrust upon you and going through changes and adventures because of it?"

I stared at him, wide-eyed. "Wha... where... How... I mean... why would you say that?"

He blushed a little. "You seem so different... As if something happened to you that no one really experiences." He looked at me with his piercing eyes. "As if you're not... human..." He added thoughtfully.

My mouth just dropped open. I didn't know how to respond. We both just froze like that, him looking at me as if to look through me. And I looked back, frozen in time. It must have only lasted a few seconds but it seemed like hours for me. I was just so shocked, scared and confused that I couldn't answer. I was just about to say something, even though I couldn't remember what, when Hitori spoke.

"Oh. I'm sorry... eh... I'm not sure why I said that." He stuttered a little, so apologetic.

It broke the spell. "It's alright. My head isn't really present today I guess. I'm still curious about the pictures though." Hoping to bring the subject to another matter.

Then it came, out of nowhere. 'She really doesn't feel human... But she feels nice.'

It was the first time I had received a direct, clear thought of someone else. Almost like an echo in my mind. If my head wasn't as registering everything on automatic because of my vampire senses I wouldn't even have noticed it and just let it pass. But it stood out.

His voice in my head. By accident.

The laptop had booted and he was looking for the pictures. I didn't really look until I saw myself on the screen. It looked better than I had expected, much better.

"This is the one in the beginning, you were still nervous." He winked and showed me. I blushed.

"Oh, and this one was silly, I guess I was a little too fast." My hand was slightly blurred on that one, in a swatting movement.

"Oh! Give me a second, this is the best picture." Hitori smiled and browsed through the pictures a lot faster.

Then he showed me the picture.

A girl was sitting on a fold-up chair in white clothes with blue on them. Her auburn hair flowed innocently over her shoulders but stopping before the pale skin on her arms. It wasn't very pale, it just looked pure in the most gentle way, the light giving it a lovely shading. He zoomed in on her face. First I noticed her eyes, they sparkled in the light with an expression of fun maturity. Her smile, both mischievous and innocent, seemed to welcome only those that would tread softly. Her lips looked so soft and told a whole story no one would ever read. Yet the most wonderful thing...

She was me.