Page 71Questions exist

It was kind of funny. Every time I woke up, I still thought of it as 'morning'. It was the beginning of my day, the start of the evening. For most people, the day was almost over, with their job and daily chores mostly done and only an evening of time left for their own things.

All but those that lived during these hours.

But, despite everything, I felt oddly at ease with the world. I'd made choices of my own and learned to walk my own path. It was very satisfying to have done the things I've done. Walked the edge of the law and even leaned over it a little. There were still a lot of things I'd never do though.

But... What about Seriph.

It was a nagging notion that I could be held responsible for her actions, as I'd helped her become stronger. If I made her into a vampire, of course. But... Did it really work that way?

It was a conundrum I'm sure a lot of people have.

Is the guy who sells a weapon responsible for the kills done with it. Or what about the guy who made the weapon, or the one that designed it. What about the ammunition? The chemist who discovered the reaction? Where does it end? Where does the responsibility begin?

Are we responsible only for our own actions, or also for the things we set unknowingly into motion. Is intention the gouge? Or is it all just a general mishmash of possibilities?

Is the butterfly responsible for the hurricanes it might have influenced?

(I hoped not, as I quite liked butterflies. It was quite the pity that I saw so little of them now)

So, what about me?

How far did my responsibility reach?

As I saw it, I wasn't responsible for Seriph's actions besides those that concerned me. I wouldn't drop a security guard of a building even if she asked me to, but clipping a wire in a simple number pad was not a problem. No one got hurt, directly.

But was there a bigger picture? Did I want to see it? A moment of theorizing and I could come up with a number of ways how even such a simple act could have hurt a lot of people. Perhaps people were fired over it, no longer able to support families. Maybe even worse, that a whole company went out of commission because of it.

A security company?

Perhaps that was Seriph's game, not just security for herself but leading a company in her own way. Spying on others, or obtaining their technology without ever lifting a finger herself. Although she did a lot of planning. It's unfair to say that she didn't have a hand in all of it. It was just a very subtle and hard to notice hand.

I wouldn't be able to spy on her though. It was hard to even know where she was. She didn't make much noise and probably made sure she was secure in several ways.

Especially now that she knew what I was.

And that's when it came back to responsibility. I wanted to give her what she wanted. Not just for her, but also for me. I didn't even realize it until then. It was my way to make the circle round, to understand what had happened to me. If I would make someone a vampire, perhaps then I would understand what had compelled the one that made me. By giving I would understand my own rebirth.

But, there was someone I could ask. Someone I knew didn't like questions, but his level-headiness was something I really needed. Someone I hadn't seen in a fair few days I felt. But he probably wouldn't mind me stepping in. I just had to make sure there was no way he'd even understand what it really was. I knew he wouldn't ask.

Back to the store, Jack. I'm sure it was open.

The streets were buzzing with people. Friday night, just after a long week of work for a lot of people. For me as well, but for completely different reasons. I took some time making myself look nicer than normal for some reason. Perhaps to fit in easier with the crowd. Still the same nice shirt and pants though.

I didn't exactly know yet how I was going to bring it, but I was sure Tyler would have something interesting to say. It would help me see things in a different light. It was always up to me to decide if I agreed with it or not.

I also realized I was postponing the whole thing for another, much stupider and simpler reason. While the responsibility was the heavier thing on my mind, a simpler but practical problem was weighing in as well.

I didn't know how.

Really?