Like always we'd like to condole Humpty Dumpty, who is still one of the great classics.
First the Ice Climbers, now hospitalized thanks to a slip of one left foot and of course being roped together. They may have broken records with that fall, counting their intact bones, but more on this later.
Moving on. Sonic only gets an honorary mention, as his case was just a sprained ankle (and a speeding ticket). Let's just leave it at that.
Most Original Injury Of The Month this time is Mario. He tried to use a pipe that certainly did not connect to the Mushroom Kingdom. Auch! A close second was his brother after a little mishap with a vacuum cleaner, but he was disqualified once the results came in from his checkup.
Samus has still not recovered after last month's mysterious spinal readjustment. The only news we have on that is her muttering something about Chozo scrotum, but reports are vague on the matter. This is possibly due to giggling.
While old news, as such, Tony Ja in The Protector has to get a mention for his work on others.
In non organic news: Gordon Freeman still holds the record high with his crowbar. While some other people have possibly caused more destruction, using explosives is still considered to be less interesting.
That was it for today folks! And don't forget, misery loves company. What else are you going to laugh at?