Page 10Securing goods

It was no use. I'd been looking for two hours, thinking and thinking without finding any solution to my problem. The trains were even worse than I thought, as they didn't do night-trains late enough for me to use. The ones that did left at midnight and arrived long after light. And with cars... I didn't just want to steal one, I'd have the police on my tail and other nasty problems. But something kept echoing in my mind, the intensity I'd felt in the boys blood yesterday.

I wanted to steal something.

Now, it wasn't exactly a new feeling. I'd stolen little things once or twice. You know, candy bars from a super-market kind of thing. Never anything larger than would comfortably fit in my sleeve. And I'd enjoyed it a little as well. I wouldn't steal from 'anyone' just a large store that would not even notice that single bar missing.

But I remembered the excitement it gave me. The feeling of doing something 'wrong'.

I didn't want to do anything bad that would hurt anyone else directly though. But, as thoughts occurred to me, I'd hurt quite some people by trying to do things right. And I wasn't altogether sure that right and wrong were as simple as I thought they were.

Not that I wanted to use that reasoning to make things I knew were wrong, right.

There wasn't much time left before the sun would rise again and I had no clue where to go or where to put the necklace and bracelets. With a sigh, I decided to go to the house of my grandmother. Even if I couldn't open the safe she had there, I could easily hide things in the attic. I knew it quite well and I also knew that few people would go and look where I was going to put them. Besides, it felt somehow appropriate to leave them there. It is where they would feel at home. As far as they would feel at all.

And of course her mansion was locked.

Surprisingly well, actually.

There didn't appear to be new locks, but it had at least been firmly locked and cleaned well. I put my ear against the door and listened. It was completely quiet inside. A soft, empty silence that made me confident there was no one there and hadn't been there for a while. I walked around the big house and confirmed the status of the back-door. Locked as well, obviously.

It wasn't easy to climb the rain-pipe up to the roof. Up there, however, it was just a matter of gently lifting the window with my fingertips and crawling in. I wasn't worried that anyone else would be able to do this though. First of all the window was heavy and there wasn't an easy way to grab it to pull it up. And secondly, the gap was so small that I had to be careful for my breasts.

The shirt survived it, fortunately.

The attic was mostly as I remembered it, many many things of various ages that were stacked and stuffed haphazardly. Teddy-bears from years ago, paintings, even doll houses with small wooden dolls. But where would I trust my own, my precious jewelry. There was one place I remembered from playing here a long time ago. An odd place that was less than a crawling space even when I was little, but it would suffice for my goals.

I crawled, yes literally, all the way back there and found the little opening to the crawling space. There was nothing there but cobwebs and dust. But I didn't mind, it was just one of those weird things, but I had never been afraid of spiders. Not that there appeared to be any, just webs.

I felt with my fingers and noticed a beam above the opening that was more than wide enough for what I wanted. I fumbled with my necklace and managed, despite the absence of light, to unfasten it. My bracelets were somewhat easier and I had both of them in my hand in no time. But I didn't want to put them up there like this. I wanted to wrap them in something. I opened the closest chest and noticed a handkerchief or something between some of the toys in it. It was more than large enough to wrap well around the jewelry. An old boot-lace helped me tie it up nicely and together like a little gift.

They easily fit on the beam inside the little crawling space. there wasn't much room but they felt very secure there. I sneaked back towards the window, making sure not to make a sound and looked around one last time. It was a little goodbye that I'd never really given before. This time I was going further away on purpose rather than just forgetting about this place.

Why didn't anyone live here?

Whose was this now anyway? My mother's?

With some effort and, annoyingly, a very tiny tear in my t-shirt over my left breast, I left the attic and climbed down from the roof. Downstairs I dusted myself off a little, creating little puffs and clouds of dust that easily fluttered away into the night. I was tempted to stay in the house and sleep there, but I had no idea where to hide from the light. Despite the age of the place, it had fairly large windows and little protection from the sun.

Slightly defeated, I made my way back, hurriedly, to the safe-house in the industrial district. It was only half an hour before morning and I really had to rush to be there, write the last things down and close everything well. It was tough though, there was no light down there and the lights weren't working either, just like last night.

Of course I could see well enough to walk around, but to write it was a little too dark.

Not that it would ruin my eyes anymore.

I slept with my head on the book, drifting away on the pages as well as my dreams.

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