Sep 2005

Out of Controla piece of my past?

I've always been a little strange. Feeling stronger than others and being very sensitive to the emotions others have. Not that I'm very good at taking them into account, but I do feel them very strongly. It is almost like they have neon signs above their head with what they're feeling. I can't sense thought though. So mostly I interpret what I see to guess their thoughts. And I'm right a little more often than most people like.

While I was focusing more on sensing people I found out I could do something else. Enhance emotions. I could make a feeling very strong inside someone. Though I needed a little cooperation from their side for this I could do it without them noticing. And with enhancing also came diminishing them. Making fear or sadness disappear was a useful trait in trying to calm people down. The only downside was that it cost me a little more concentration than most hectic situations allowed for.

And then came the really interesting bit, creating. For if I could change the emotions they had, could I make them feel new ones? I could. By practice and even more concentration I could flare up emotions at my will. Less and less I required the other to open up for me. Though still, even now, I need them to be aware of me. I cannot change them if they don't subconsciously allow the link.

This story is more or less how I experimented with it, unaware of all the consequences of my intentions. I didn't intent to hurt anyone and currently I only use what I am able to when it is wanted or even asked for. I hope those that have met me while I changed them like this have forgiven me or even found it a worthwhile experience. I think most of it was quite intense for them. Allow me to begin...

Disco's. I don't dislike them because I like to dance. But I do not like most of the people who come there. Sometimes I am being stared at, for whatever reason, but I ignore all such things. Most of the girls that look at me aren't even interesting to me. I can easily see which girls have depth and, being intelligent myself, I require a lot more than "just a body". Of course I always keep an eye open for interesting people. You never know where they might turn up.

And turn up she did. Very interesting indeed. The way she looked around, actually thinking about what she saw intrigued me immediately. But I am patient; I don't walk up to someone as soon as I see them. I wait until the proper time. I noticed she was among friends, a bunch of girl-friends probably and was slightly absent from their giggly chatter. I guessed she was not very interested in gossip and such talk. In fact, she looked bored, which suited me fine. I decided on what to say first and smiled softly to myself because for if I have an opening line, this would be it.

"You look more intelligent than most here."

She looked at me strangely and saw me looking both serious and smiling. She had to smile back but could not immediately accept my words, of course.

"Thank you, but why are you saying that?"

"You actually notice what you see with your eyes. You think about what you see. That makes you intelligent."

You looked down for a moment, probably thinking I am a strange guy to say something like that to you. But you knew I was right. You knew that I actually noticed you. I could almost feel your curiosity growing towards me. I gathered it was time for me to present myself.

"Anyway, I hope I didn't startle you too much."

"Eh, no, not at all. Only most guys do not see intelligence in here."

"I know, they only look at the outside."

I saw you look into my eyes when I said that. I could almost hear you think "who says that you don't look".
I started focusing on you, this much contact was already enough to sense you quite deeply. I started using my apparently calming aura on you and said that my intention is to find interesting people, not bodies. Of course you had to ask me what interesting meant then. And while I had to explain the connection between us grew a bit more.

Time passed, with some repeating because of the noise around us, and we got to know each other a little better. I could sense your feelings more and more and started to share mine with you. A simple way to enhance what you feel. An emotional feedback loop of some sort. I asked if you wanted to continue our conversation in a quieter place and you agreed. We went to the cafe and talked some more. I continued to focus on you to feel what you feel and share it. I felt my whole body filled with a sort of 'soft love'. A very enhanced interest. Since I knew you felt it too I gently touched your hand and searched your permission in your eyes if I was allowed to hold it.

I was.

Holding your hand and now having a physical connection only made concentrating on you much easier. I could feel more clearly what you felt and share more of it. Making the feeling between us only stronger. This is something that happened even before I knew I could steer it.

We talked into the night, holding our hands and looking into each others eyes a lot. Words not that important anymore we just talked about some random things. The only problem that I foresaw was that closing time would come a bit too soon. I told you this, told you I wished we had more time and proposed to continue our talk at your place. After thinking and realising I felt safe you agreed.

Closing time upon us we got our coats and went outside. Together on bicycle we rode towards your home not too far away so it only took about 7 minutes to get there. We placed our bikes, took of our coats, started making some tea and sat down in the living-room. It didn't take long for you to sit in my arms and we started hugging. I never stopped sharing our feelings, so our hugs were immediately very intense. So intense, in fact, that it gave me some trouble breathing. But it never went so intense you or I even thought of letting go.

It seemed the path we took could not be changed anymore, too intense to ignore what our bodies were feeling. Secretly I was happy I could feel this way, share this feeling like this and make it so intense. It didn't take long for us to kiss. Almost a spark between our lips when we did. Softly at first, gently touching each others lips to sense our path, opening up more with every try. Our tongues joined the game. Tracing the edges of our lips and entering the warmth of our combined mouths. We shared a kiss, so intimate and so intense that I could not even have opened my eyes if I wanted to. My mind was burning and my heart was melting. And through all of this I never closed our connection, the feedback of the things we felt which I kept enhancing.

Our bodies became warm, very warm. Softly I touched your back under your clothes and felt the softness of your skin there. Your hands were still holding my face, holding me in place, too precious to let go. I could sense you didn't want it to stop either. Didn't want to have this feeling crash down and could not do anything else but go along. I became bolder; leaving your lips for the time it took me to pull your clothes over your head. Immediately when the clothes passed your lips I kissed you, knowing that your clothing still held your arms and blocked your view. I kissed you a few more times and slowly pulled the rest over your arms so you could move freely again.

Now that your hands were free and the burning feeling in your chest was only stronger your hands roamed over my body as well. You felt my back and chest and alternated between caressing and softly scratching. I loosened your bra but did not remove it completely, allowing you to remove it when you wanted to. I did caress your breasts while your bra was hanging loose enough for me to do so. I heard you moan and could not surpass a soft moan from your caresses either.

I tried to gather my thoughts now. Wanting to experiment with one more little thing. I knew already you could not hold back now, but I wanted to make you feel even better than you were already. I started focusing on you completely, sensing how your body felt entirely, like an extra skin of my own. I could sense every touch I did by you and feel your response myself. I used this to find your sensitive spots within a second. Feeling immediately what to do and where to do it.

You arched back instantly when I started this. Overcome by all those pleasurable touches I was doing. I started undressing you more, removing your bra completely now and pulling your pants down, never stopping to pleasure you with either my hand or mouth. You lay back on the couch and could do nothing else but moan and enjoy, just the way I wanted it. When I was done removing all your clothes and you lay naked before me I started kissing more and more downwards. Kissing your navel and the soft skin between your legs, never touching even the outer lips. I moved further down with my kisses, along your legs to tease you, while my hands caressed your sides and breasts. And moved up again when I felt you couldn't take it anymore and wanted me in the place that was so warm, wet and hidden.

I moved up with my kisses, giving only a single kiss on your outer lips before I moved away again. I could hear you gasping and moaning with every kiss that I gave and sensed your hands grabbing the couch to keep hold of yourself. I continued my kisses, closer and closer, now entering between your lips and licking away some of your wetness. The taste was wonderful, with all this intense arousal I could taste in your fluids almost everything you felt. And still I hadn't even touched your clitoris, carefully avoiding it until you went almost crazy. But the time was close, I moved with my tongue along the inside of your vagina and moved up...

Nearing your clitoris I could hear you hold your breath and when I finally touched it your hands grabbed the couch with force and you moaned quite loudly. I softly touched it again with the tip of my tongue, soft at first, bolder in a few moments. I licked around it, circling it and even softly suckling it a few times. I felt the waves of pleasure roam through your body and I knew you could not be far from an explosion. I concentrated more and more on your body while I licked you, making even the physical feelings stronger than you were used to. I felt you were on a straight road towards a very strong orgasm, instead of the waving road you normally have.

I kept going, not changing my rhythm much not to disturb your feelings. My tongue never leaving your clitoris and your hands now grabbing my head. I focused my whole being on what I was doing and kept it so until I could feel the orgasm start in the tips of your fingers and toes. I kept going; feeling the orgasm build up even more and feeling you think you're going crazy. And then I released you, opening the flow in your body to allow it to explode with pleasure, never leaving your clitoris. I could feel you, wave after wave, ever so strongly. I heard how you cried out with a coarse moan and noticed you faint on the last wave of your orgasm. Your breathing was slow but regular and your faint seemed to have changed to a sleep. Tomorrow you would probably think all this was a dream.

I allowed that. I grabbed a blanket from your bedroom and made sure you were warm enough to sleep, and then sat down besides you. Even though I wanted you very much, I felt it was better to wait. Your body was already exhausted from this intensity, besides I had felt almost everything you had. Now it was time to watch over you and have some sleep myself.

I wondered what tomorrow would bring.