Coffee Machine ExperimentsNever let me try

I hope that no one will ever ask me to take care of the coffee machine at work. If they did, it would be nigh impossible for me to resist running experiments on my colleagues. You see, I don't drink coffee, I drink water, and maybe tea. So, whatever I do to the machine, it doesn't influence my performance at all.

Others, on the other hand...

Note: Any type of coffee/tea is free, soft-drinks cost money.

Experiment 1: Decaf Desweet

Replacing all coffee with decaf, and all sugar with sweetener, essentially taking away most of the reasons people drink the stuff. I'll still be a nice guy though and let them keep the milk. Come on, I'm no monster.

Expected results

  • - Never really getting up to speed with the day. Slow, fazed.
  • - Riding the highs of lunch, with an easy, deep crash afterward
  • + After a week or 2, if they don't cheat, much more stable employees
  • + Extra revenue on the softdrink machine

Experiment 2: Double Dosage

Using stronger coffee and upping the default dosage of sugar, making even the lowest setting higher than the normal default.

Expected results

  • - Hyperactivity until the sugar/caffiene rush passes.
  • - Office zombie-ism after the rush.
  • + (possibly) Less actual coffee drinking

Experiment 3: Curious Coffee

Add subtle flavours to the coffee. Things like strawberry, cinnamon, vanilla or such. Subtle enough so they can be smelled, but not tasted. Adds to the mystery of the machine too!

Expected results

  • - Confusion and (possibly) excitement with the staff
  • - People drink more coffee
  • + Using positive flavors would enhance productivity
  • + Fresh/fruity smells in the office

Experiment 4: Random Rob

Reprogram the machine to completely randomize your choice. No matter what you choose, getting something different. Sometimes subtly so (barely noticable), otherwise completely. Getting chocolate instead of cappuchino, etc.

  • - Too noticable to have any effect after an hour or two
  • - People will more likely just throw it away
  • + Still lessens people's coffee intake